Did you ask him to clean up his mess? Or did I miss that part?

It seems your love language is “acts of kind cleanliness,” ;) but did he know that was super duper important to you?

I know messy people that are entirely in love inside a messy home, so it comes down what you value and what he values and making a compromise if they values aren’t aligned.

I feel like his gift was a small effort to say, I know you value this and I’ll try even though it’s not entirely what I value.

Stuff like this paints him as a selfish, messy man, but what if he is just messy and not selfish? What if he loves you in his language? What if he rubs your back, or calls you 23 times a day, or brings you gifts, or writes you love letters and sends you cat memes?

The messiness isn’t the problem, the lack of understanding regarding your needs about messiness is…

When you started dating him, you should be willing to see if your values align about the things that matter most to you and have clear talks about why it’s important to you.

Cleanliness, for one, seems like a strong value of yours and not his.

But what if his is watching movies in bed while massaging your back and you continually work long hours and never come home?

It’s not always about right and wrong but about understanding.